Seriously. Go Giver.

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 I wrote that I recently moved to Kyushu, the southwestern island of Japan.

I've spent about 6 months and cross passed with many people.

And seriously. I believe in go giver.

Being a genuine giver is the most important trait

I thought it was just natural to be a giver, but apparently it's not.

My grandpa was a giver. He was strict but a giver.

My dad was actually the opposite, and I used to hate what he does to the people around him.

So this naturally made me choose to be a giver.

Which brought me many fortune that I've never imagined.

Takers that act as givers

The people in Kyushu are relatively in a lot better mood than the people elsewhere in Japan.

I love their friendliness and more natural demeanor. But there are people anywhere, that take advantage of that. 

And probably because I speak both English and Japanese well, some takers are after me.

What I'm reminded of is to be very careful with takers that act like they're givers, to get what they want.

They are friendly, they give you sweet talks, but slowly start to ask you for things they want.

I believe I'm a good person and I want to help people as much as I can, but it needs to be a win-win. Win-lose doesn't last very long, which tends to result in a long term lose-lose.


No expectations. Period.

What I figured out is a balance of actively doing what you can to help, and asking for help on what you need.

But it's important that I have no expectations.

I give first what I am good at.

I seem to be a lot better at gathering information and building relationships.

So, I share what I know without any expectations.

But when I'm having a conversation, I always have in the back of my mind, "Maybe when I come across a problem related to the topic, I can refer to this person for advice.

And I make sure I show what I might be able to help with.

Asking for help is OK.

I used to be very bad at asking for help, and I'm still bad at it.

But when I'm stuck, especially with the things I'm not good at, it's ok to ask for help.

This video was one of the most helpful eye opener for me.


But actually, the fact that I rarely ask for help is the reason people help me when I really need it.

Because takers always make people help them, and they don't care about taking your time away.

But when you're a giver you care about a good experience to the person in front of you. You won't waste their time.

So it took me a while to notice, that quite a lot of people don't care about waste people's time to take what they want.

The people around me and I are both surprised that people would be so nice and would help me when I need it. 

Or to say more accurately, they reach out to help me, because I'm stuck and struggling to solve it. I try to figure it out first on my own. Then they see it, and reach out because it's something they're are better than I am.

I realized that not many people will help you if you're not a giver.

I used to think people just help each other naturally.

But it isn't true and this is the reality. 

When you can bring something to the table that helps others, they also help you.

It took me a long time to notice this.

Find what you are good at, even if it's small.

So what I need to do, is choose something you can do to help the community. It's better if you have an unfair advantage over it.

For example, I've been fairly good at making friends from childhood. I was born in Japan but grew up in California, which makes me a good Japanese and English speaker.

It doesn't need to be a big trait either. You have the happiest smile. You can make people laugh. You are a good cook. You are gentle to the people around you.

So next how do you use that skill or trait, to help people more?

Build your own craft. Continue to give.

So I'm living a go giver journey on helping food buisnesses in Japan to promote their 

That's what I'm interested in, and what I'm good at.

I love learning about what these businesses do, and am inspired by it. 

I share what I loved about the business and share it in English.

I'll slowly but surely build on my own craft and bring this to the table.

I've already had a few incidents that prove that what I'm doing is on the right track.




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